Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Leap of Faith

I took a leap of faith, 22 days shy of one year ago.  I walked into my boss's office and handed her my resignation.  I had worked for the Agency for 17 years 8 months and I announced with that little piece of paper that I was walking away.  I would no longer hold the position for which I had worked so hard to get.  I would no longer be earning that salary that was 3.5 times the amount of when I first started.  No longer would I be the high earner (or even an earner for that matter) in the family.  With only 11 years 2 months and four days left to retirement, I was turning it all over.

I was nervous.  I wanted to lose my lunch.  It had started out as looking for a job, not just resigning to stay home.  Michael and I prayed a lot about this and God changed my heart.  What was looking for a new job turned to looking to see if we could make it on just one salary.  It would be hard, but I felt we could do it.  Staying home was never anything I had ever thought about doing before, I didn't think it was something I would want to do.  Suddenly, however, I knew it was the right thing. 

So many things were pointing that direction.  I became disillusioned, wanting terribly to leave the job I had loved for so long.  The job took too much of my life and left little for my family.  Verses from the Bible were pointing in this direction, devotions and Bible Study were giving us guidance.  Then on March 28, 2011, I had had enough.  I talked to Michael and said I was going to quit that day, to be effective the end of April.  He agreed it was the right thing to do.

I ended up not actually leaving until middle of June.  My last days there were spent in Joplin, following the devastating tornado.  I loved those last 2 weeks and loved sharing with those who had lost so much.  The first time I saw Rangeline, and the Home Depot, the song Your Great Name by Natalie Grant came on the radio.  I cried and lifted my hands to Him all the way up Rangeline to MSSU where I was working. 

Months have come and gone.  We have survived.  There are times it has been tight.  Satan has put thoughts in my mind that I did the wrong thing or I was not a good enough mother to be teaching my kids here at home.  But God has been faithful to me and my family even when we were not faithful to Him.  We have robbed Him of our time, of our money, and of our hearts from time to time, but He has provided time after time.  When a bill came due, the money would be there.  When a doctor visit was needed, the money was there.  He even sent me 3 part time stay-at-home jobs over the months to provide money to help finish paying off any debt we have.  He is an amazing God to provide for us so we don't have to worry about things like this. 

30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  Matthew 6:30-32

He has given me peace of mind to know that I am capable and I can do all things through Him.

And yet again, He has surprised me and is being faithful, even though I showed little faith.  I was worried about our taxes because of all my distributions and penalties from distributions last year.  I just did our taxes and I should have put my faith in my God that once again He would provide.  Because He has! 

When I look back at the last year, I find time after time where He has taken care of us and provided for us and loved on us.  What an amazing God.  It was a leap of faith to walk away from a job I had known for 17 years.  What I know now is that following God's lead in your life will bring blessings like you have never known.  He has provided and He has shown me that I did follow the right path...His path.

Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of your great name
All condemned; feel no shame, at the sound of your great name
Every fear; has no place; at the sound of your great name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of your great name

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us,
Son of God and ManYou are high and lifted up;
that all the world will praise your great name

All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of your great name
Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of your great name
The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of your great name
Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of your great

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us,
Son of God and ManYou are high and lifted up;
that all the world will praise your great name

Redeemer, My Healer, AlmightyMy savior, Defender, You are My King
Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us,
Son of God and ManYou are high and lifted up;
that all the world will praise your great name


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