My Word for 2017

I just re-read my post on my word for 2014.  I had words for 2015 and 2016 also, but I didn't write about them.  Both years were hard.  They were just hard and to be honest, I can't recall what words I settled on.  This year I am going to put my word where I can see it.  Where I can remember.  Where I can focus.  

I still strive to live minimally (as in 2014), but it doesn't usually work.  I forget or find something we cannot live without or just can't get rid of that because, well, it's a memory, even if I haven't looked at it in 5 years.  

2015 and 2016 - I'm ready to break up with them.  We saw loss, those two years and I - loss of close friendships, of family, of faith.  Loss of self-confidence, of patience, and of grace - mine for others, not God's for me.  Don't get me wrong - we had some good times (Cookie Monster A) and honestly I can't really complain.  My home is intact, my family is healthy (enough), I have freedom to come and go as I choose.  I cannot legitimately complain.  I'm not living in a war-torn country, wondering if today is the day that my children die.  I'm not hoping to find enough food to feed my family.  We are so blessed.  I became so cynical anyway.

So my word for 2017 is restore.  So many things need restored in my life.  First and foremost, I have to work on restoring my faith.  Don't get me wrong.  I still believe in God.  I still believe and hope on Jesus.  But my commitment to my faith and to my church is lacking.  I have held grudges and not given grace.  I have allowed my faith life to be rocked to the core and not fought back to hold on.  Thank God for His grace, that will allow me to run back to his mercy seat where grace will find me.  

I need to restore my attitude, starting first with gratitude - restoring thankfulness in my heart will spin my world on its axis and will ensure that no matter what comes my way, 2017 will be okay.  I don't know what my future holds, but God does.  He has already seen it so is ready to carry me through.  How can I be anything but thankful for that?

My health and the health of my family is of utmost priority this year.  We have gotten a little lazy with our food choices and our lack of exercise in this joint.  You can surely tell when you look at a couple of us.  My health has tanked since I tore that first meniscus, then another, then the hubs broke his leg.  I got lazy on cooking and lazy on doing any type of exercise, since my knees just can't hang.  That is what I kept telling myself anyway.  There are other ways to exercise, besides walking and running (which my doctor has instructed me to absolutely no do) and I have access to those.  I have the head knowledge and the means to make sure that my family eats healthy.  If I don't teach my kids now to eat healthy and love it, why could I possibly think that they would suddenly learn it in their 20s?  So this is the year that we restore our health.

Friendships.  There is so much to say about friendships, but I'm gonna just lay it out there like this: I have a few friendships that have cooled tremendously.  I know I am to blame as the others are too.  I let *feelings* get in the way of keeping those friendships thriving.  My feelings get hurt and I just shut down.  There isn't anything I can do about that now.  But for 2017, I can start fresh and restore relationships that are salvageable.

There are so many other areas I can restore - my career (the annual question - do I go back to the state to finish or start something new), peace, furniture, to name a few - and I intend to do that.  To focus on restoring what can be restored and let go of what cannot (living minimally).  

Restore is my word for 2017.  What's yours?

Thanks in Advance

We have had a couple of rough days, God. We got some unexpected news that will change the course of our lives for a while.  You know this because not only did You know it was coming, it passed through Your hands.  Not only did it pass through Your hands, but you decided it was our next season.  I just want to thank You in advance.  

I want to thank you in advance because not only did You know it was coming, it passed through Your hands, and You decided it was for us, but YOU ARE WALKING IT WITH US.  From the moment Michael started going down, You held him together enough to call for help.  And to keep his head out of the pool.  You had our neighbors on their back deck and they heard him yell for the kids.  The ambulance staff were where we needed them; thank You for putting them there.  Thank You for that big stupid disgusting revolting spider you put on my door that made me too chicken to get out that I drove all the way to McGirk to get him off, instead of going straight to the store where I couldn't have heard my phone.  Thank you for the doctor You had on call.  

But more importantly than all that, thank You in advance for the trial that is going to refine us.  Thank You for being near to us during this trial and holding our hands or holding us up.  Thank You in advance for the good work You will do in us.  

I need to say thank You now, God, because there are going to be days when I am going to be too tired to do it.  There are going to be days that I am angry or hurt or mad or sad.  There are going to be days when I feel You have abandoned us.  Thank You for the grace You will extend to me during these times when I am complaining or feeling sorry for myself or lashing out.  

I know we will be stronger and closer to You and to each other when this season passes.  I look forward to that day when I can look back and see every step of the journey that You were with us.  But until then, thank You in advance for the promise that You work all things for the good of those who love You.  And we do love You.

Thank you for holding us, now and in the future.  

It is done!

Wow.  That title made it sound like a chore.  Like I am excited to be done with it.  Like it is a horrific thing I am finishing and moving on.  It wasn't anything like that.  It was so far from that I can't even explain it.  What we did wasn't extraordinary.  It wasn't remarkable or amazing.  But in 2014 we did something in our family that I honestly did not believe we could do.

We read the Bible all the way through as a family.  

Was the first paragraph some un-fancy build-up then you thought "THAT is what she is excited about?"  We didn't go deep sea diving.  We didn't climb the tallest mountain (or with my knee, even the smallest of hills).  We didn't go zip lining through a rain forest. We didn't go on a mission trip to help save orphans or feed families. But...

we read the Bible all the way through as a family.

I am not tooting our own horns.  I'm really not.  Other families have done far more amazing things for humanity and the planet.  This really shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it is to me.  

This is what I learned.

1) We can do it!  I had no doubt that the hubs or I could do it.  We have both read through the Bible before a couple of times.  We just never have together.

2) If we put our minds to it and it is important enough to us, we can do something long-term.  Sometimes we have these brilliant ideas and they last two weeks. Sometimes we say we will do it but it never gets farther than the discussion.  Like organization.  Or Bible study together.  Or cleaning and organization.  

3) It is important.  Not only did it carve a few minutes of time every night to family only time, we were focusing on God's word during that time.  It wasn't a selfish time, or a time to just spend together because we have to.  It was time well spent.  A quiet time with family and God.

4) My kids heard the Word.  Sure, they hear it often throughout the week, at Sunday School and church or in books we read at home.  They also heard it every single night. This ensured it.  (Disclaimer: it wasn't every single night for 365 nights, but it was probably at LEAST 350+ of those nights.  If we missed a night we made it up next day, except the week of Hayley's wedding - we might have missed 3-4 nights then, but we made it up.)

5) My kids not only heard the Word, they WANTED to hear the Word.  I thought we would have to practically pull teeth to get them to sit through it every night.  NO.  Not even the 18/19 year old complained.  He may not have always wanted to sit there, but not one complaint came from his mouth.  Even the littles waited for that time.  They looked forward to that time to sit down and cuddle with mama and dad and big bro before going to bed.  If I ever said "time for bed" and we hadn't read yet, they were quick to say "after the Bible, right?".  

6) Reading this Book all the way through from start to finish gave us a broader picture.  In Sunday School, you hear the "important" stories.  Adam and Eve; Moses; Samson; Kings Saul, David, & Solomon; Jesus; Paul.  They are all important stories, don't get me wrong.  But they don't give you the big picture.  They don't help you see that since the fall of man, we have a God who is lovingly and painstakingly trying to woo us back to Him.  You don't see that throughout history, He has been building up, story by story and brick by brick, to our redemption and restoration.  Reading it page by page, story by story, my kids have a better understanding of what the Word is, who God is, and who they are in His story.  

7) Hearing the Word of God out of your children's mouths is amazing.  A was a good reader.  She has been since the moment the reading light bulb came on.  However, reading from the Bible, I honestly believe, has helped her become an even better reader. What is more precious than hearing your 7/8 year old read Scripture?  Or how about that 5 year old who can't read yet, or is barely reading now, but wants so badly to "read it" that you take the extra time to read a half sentence and have him say it back? P.R.E.C.I.O.U.S.

Sure, there was a LOT they didn't understand.  Shoot, there is a LOT I don't understand. But they have heard it.  They craved it.  They have hidden it in their hearts.  I pray that this first reading was the first tiny seed of many seeds in years to come that fall on good soil and produce a great crop (Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop - some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown." Mark 4:20).  I pray that it was a foundation for their daily reading of the Word in many days and years to come.

Sure, reading the Bible all the way through in a year isn't something that people are amazed by and that some would even call foolish.  However, it honestly was the best thing we have ever done.  I didn't write this post so people would think "YAY Traver fam!" I didn't writ it so people can be amazed at our feat (and for us it was a feat!!).  I wrote it so you can know that with small children it IS possible if you really want to do it AND So I can remember in years to come why I felt so blessed at the end of this year.

A truth quote has been floating around Facebook.  I believe this wholeheartedly so I am going to end this post with this anonymous thought:

"If we don't teach our children to follow Christ, the world will teach them not to."

Wilderness Complaints

Israel was saved from their abusive relationship with Egypt when God sent Moses and Aaron to lead them out of Egypt.  He could have led them on a shorter journey to the Promised Land - 250 miles taking about two weeks - but He did not want to send them through the land of the Philistines because He didn't want them to fight with them.  He wanted to protect them.  So He took them another route which ended up taking two years.  He gave them food.  Their clothes and shoes did not wear out.  They had what they needed.  The people grumbled in the wilderness.  They complained against God.  They looked to the past and looked upon that abusive relationship as BETTER than what God was providing.  They remembered the excess meat they had eaten, then looked at the manna God had provided.  They remembered the homes in which they had lived, then looked at the tents the carried around with them.  What they chose to ignore was that they were now free.  Free from the Egyptians that had enslaved them and abused them.  God provided for them every step of their journey.  He didn't give them excess - they couldn't have handled excess on their journey - but He gave them exactly what they needed.

"It seemed like no matter how many times God provided for the Israelites, they still found something about which they could complain."1

Doesn't this sound like us?  Like you?  Most definitely like me?

There are times in our lives that God leads us away from something that is no good for us.  Sometimes we go through the wilderness because God is protecting us from something worse.  Sometimes we go through it because there is a lesson we need to learn or we need to grow before He can lead us to the Promised Land.  "In the wilderness, character is built."2  

Regardless of why we are in the desert, regardless of how we ended up in the wilderness, He always provides.  He doesn't take us there and leave us to manage on our own.  He provides.  For the Israelites it was manna, protection, clothing and shoes, etc.  They didn't live extravagant lives.  He didn't give them excess because excess is not what they needed.  They were travelers.  They were wanderers.  Excess would have made it more difficult to get to the promised land.

How I am like the Israelites of that day!  God has taken me out of abusive relationships.  Some with people, some with material items such as food, or from greed.  Every step of the way He has provided.  Maybe it wasn't always the way I had hoped or expected.  Maybe at the time I couldn't or chose not to see the provision, but in hindsight I can see His hand and his providence.  Sometimes I was grateful for the provision, then the next day was already thinking about what else I "needed."

I have the proof from my own life that He always provides.  He doesn't provide me with excess.  He provides me with something so much better.  He provides me with what I need.  No more.  More is excess and excess leads to sin.  Excess leads to bondage.  Excess makes me believe I can do all things through me, not through Christ.  

And just like the Israelites, if it isn't what I want or if I remember the "good ole days" with fondness instead of sadness, I grumble against the Lord and his provision.

I know for a fact I have been through the wilderness the last couple of years.  Don't get me wrong, it has been a great wilderness.  I have had the time to spend with my children.  A time to really grow, while paring down my life.  Removing the excess I didn't need.  God knew I needed to remove excess.  The last several months have been really hard.  Yet, when I look back over them, He always provided for us.  Every single time.  No one in my house went hungry.  No one in my home lacked clothing.  No one in my family spent a night homeless.  I am still removing excess.  I imagine this will be a lifelong journey.  But I have come so far from where I was, where we were filling a house full to overflowing.  Where money was being spent wherever we wanted for things that have no eternal impact, other than to keep us in bondage.  

I thank God for this wilderness.  I thank Him for providing for my family during this journey.  I thank Him for the lessons, the character building, the removal of excess which enslaved me.  

I don't want to be like the Israelites of Moses' day and grumble about God's provision, or be thankful one day and forget the next.  This day I choose to remember His provisions and His love, rather than to complain that I had it better or easier in the former days.  This day I choose to be grateful.  And I pray that I never look back at and pine away for the "good ole days", but that I always remember that God provides for His people, even in the midst of the wilderness.  

"Your grace abounds in deepest waters, Your sovereign hand will be my guide, Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You've never failed and You won't start now."3

Oceans

1-2.  Hovind, Chad. Fast Track: Genesis to Revelation. Nashville, TN: Lifeway Press, 2013. Print. 39. 

3 Oceans. Hillsong United. 2013. Music/song. 

The Day I Paid Attention

I fancy myself as fairly intelligent.  I mean I am no rocket scientist.  I definitely won't ever win a Nobel Prize for anything.  When it comes to certain topics (or subjects in school) I definitely freeze, or my eyes glaze over.  But for the most part, I THINK I am at or just slightly above average intelligence (until said subjects are the topic of conversation).

I used to think when it came to the Bible that I was fairly knowledgeable, but I certainly knew there was so much more I didn't understand.  It seems as though when I read a familiar passage, I understand.  Until one day I read it with a fresh set of eyes, or a different mindset, or I really pay attention to what I read.

And one day it happened.  I read Matthew 6:9-13, and this time I really paid attention. The Lord's Prayer.  I have read and recited this prayer so many times in my life that I don't even have to pay attention if I don't want to.  It is as ingrained into my memory as the alphabet song is. 

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Great prayer, right?  After all, Jesus spoke this prayer.  He taught this prayer.  So I have recited it all my life.  It wasn't until recently that I realized I hadn't been paying attention.

Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name ~ great start, right?  Holy is His name, praising Him right from the start.  I can do it.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  Do we really mean this?  I think we think we do, but do we act like this is really what we want?  Do we understand that sometimes His will is not what we expect?  That it may not be what we want?  Then we think, "God.  How can You do this to me?  This is not what I wanted."  Yet until we align our hearts and our minds with His heart and His mind, our will won't be His will.  We need to think on things as He does, feel about things as He feels, have a heart for those He does.  We need to align our will with His.  Then we can ask Him for what we want, because we will want what He wants.

Give us this day our daily bread.  Ouch this one hurts.  It doesn't say "Give us this day our daily bread and the daily bread of those who are living in poverty."  It doesn't say "Give us this day our daily bread, regardless of whose back had to be broken for me to get it."  It doesn't say, "Give us this day our daily bread and give it in extreme abundance; in excess."  It says give us what we need daily.  So why does my home, why does my life, why do my jeans show excess and extreme abundance?

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  This one by far is the scariest notion of all.  I used to skim over this one, "Yes, please God, help me forgive others as You so graciously forgave me."  It was like a goal for me to shoot for.  Some days I might be able to do it, others not so much.  Then I sat down and really read it.  I mean R. E. A. L. L. Y. read it.  And forgive us our debts, as WE FORGIVE OTHERS.  Wait...what?  Forgive me the way I forgive others?  Suddenly this is no longer a goal I should shoot for.  What if God did forgive me as I forgive others?  What would that look like?  Some days that means He wouldn't forgive me at all.  Or He would say He forgave me, but He wouldn't act like it.  And He would bring it up, at least in His mind if not verbally, every chance He got. 

And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.  God allows us to be tempted.  I am not sure He, Himself leads us there, but we certainly find ourselves there.  God loves us each so very much.  He wants to know how much we love Him. He wants to see how strong our faith is.  Sometimes perhaps He allows it so WE can see how strong our faith is.  1 Corinthians 10:13 reads: No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.  My eyes are opened.  I understand now, I am paying attention now, to what you taught me to pray.  Forgive me, Lord, for not having a heart after You, for living in excess while others live in poverty, for not forgiving others as I would want you to forgive me.  Thank you for delivering me from the evil one and making a way of escape; please help me take that escape.  Yours truly is the kingdom.  Yours truly is the power.  And Yours truly is the glory forever and ever.  Amen.

Minimally and Missionally

Over the last two years I have really been desiring to downsize and the last two months desiring to even go as far as living minimalistically (is it a word??) as I can. I am doing a Bible study by Jen Hatmaker called Interrupted and in it are some incredibly horrifying statistics.  Ones I knew, but never really thought about deeply.  Ones that I am embarrassed by.  Not in a "I hate America" kind of way, because I don't.  I love my country.  I know that God blessed us abundantly.  I am eternally grateful for that.  However I am personally embarrassed to be contributing to the consumerism, materialism, and overabundance while there are people struggling to survive the day.

In her study, Jen noted:

• 40% of the world lacks basic water sanitation, resulting in disease, death, waste water for drinking, and loss of immunity; Americans spent $16 BILLION on bottled water in 2008. 
• We spend more annually on trash bags than nearly half the world spends on all goods combined.
• 1/3 of all American families own three cars; 8% of the REST OF THE WORLD owns a car.
• Roughly 40 million people die annually from starvation, disease, and malnutrition; 65% of US adults and 15% of children and adolescents are overweight or obese.
• The US makes up 5% of the global population, but we consume 25% of the world's oil, 20 million barrels of oil a day; next is China at just 6.9 million a day.
• When a group of leaders from developing nations begged US government leaders to explore intervention options for their countries in crisis, a US official was quoted as saying: "The American lifestyle is not up for negotiation."  (Hatmaker, p 23)

This breaks my heart.  As a Christ-follower my American lifestyle better be up for negotiation if I read the statistics before it!  My heart grieves that I trip over items in my house because we can't figure out where to put all of our abundance when every 16 seconds someone dies from starvation (Hatmaker, p 22).

How can I say I am a Christ follower if 1) I can't honestly say I do in every instance where He says "follow Me", 2) I don't feed his sheep spiritually and physically, and 3) I don't, on a daily basis, practice the religion that God accepts as pure and faultless {Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27} (NIV).

I am also in the final weeks of a study, also by Jen Hatmaker, called "7: an experimental mutiny against excess."  In it, you do a "fast" of sorts against the excess of 7 different topics - clothes, shopping, waste, stress, media, possessions, and food.  I can tell you that I have been impacted greatly by this study.  It has just reinforced my desire to live more simply with fewer things.  I know that people come on hard times.  I know of the Great Depression, I know of the bad recession in the 80s, I know that we have been living in a recession now.  We tend to put away or store up for ourselves after we come through something like that, for future times.  However, God tells us in His Word: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21(NIV)

I believe that if able, a savings account is a good thing.  One that allows you to weather small emergencies and provides a little peace of mind.  What I don't think we should do is store up in abundance, whether it be money or material items, when there are people all around us in our country or overseas who could benefit from what we have stored up.  And if we invest in ourselves by storing up large amounts of money or material goods, then our heart lies in those goods.  It also means that we don't trust God to provide what we need.  If we save a little but give the rest away to those are needing it, we have invested in God's people and are storing up treasures in heaven. 

I don't believe it is easy to be able to invest in others and give what they need if I continue to fill my home with trinkets and gadgets and watchamadoohippies. 

I wrote the first five paragraphs yesterday, then had to save it and come back later.  Last night I was tired and while Hayley and the girls watched Despicable Me 2 downstairs I came up and fell asleep fairly early.  The unfortunate thing is that I woke up just before 1:00 a.m. and was awake for the day.  God took that time that I should have been sleeping and used it to get me thinking.  How does living minimally look for me?  What changes do I need to make?  If I make these changes, will it allow me to then live more missionally?  To invest more in others; to give what they need.  I believe that God used this time this morning to show me that it can be done, that I can start down this path and make a difference.  He put dreams in my heart and thoughts in my mind.  I brainstormed and studied His word and Jen's word.  I started brainstorming what living minimally and missionally meant in my life. When the sun was starting to come out I went on the back patio to watch the clouds and the sun and the mountains and I studied some more. 

This time in Thailand has been good for me so far (other than a few small issues).  I have been able to see what Hayley has been doing here and that has been a great privilege.  I also feel this week has been sort of a retreat.  With the holiday, we have had quite a bit of down time Wednesday afternoon, most of Thursday, and basically all of today.  I have had time to sit and think, to brainstorm ideas for what God has laid upon my heart, and to just spend more time studying His word.  It doesn't hurt at all that part of that time I am doing that, I am staring up into some of His beautiful creation.  I feel relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to jump back into life as we know it when I get back home. 

I am excited to start some of the things I have been planning.  I am excited to share these with my kiddos and the hubs.  I imagine it will be hard for them to comprehend at first - it will seem crazy - but I believe that in the long run we will be more fulfilled and more Christ-like in our living. 
_______________________________________________________________

Hatmaker, Jen. Interrupted. Nashville, TN.: Lifeway Press. 2012. Print

Holy Bible, New International Version. www.biblegateway.com. Web. November 28-29, 2013. 

Future Flying Saucers

I am not a homeschooler.  Some days I wish I was homeschooling the littles, because I could teach them with our values and I could protect them from the kids who used to be their friends, but make fun of them now.  I could be with them and hug on them all day.  Other days I recognize that I am not really built that way - to have the patience or mindset that a homeschool parent must have.  Nonetheless, I read many a homeschool blog to give me ideas on ways I can help the kiddos with their school work, or craft ideas, or work during the summer to ensure they are always learning and not forgetting what they learned during the school year.

One such blog is Future Flying Saucers.  Anne Marie is a precious homeschooling mama, who does more than blog about her homeschool (although she does that really well!).  She also leads Bible Studies and has blog posts about faith.  Right now she is doing a series on boasting about God.  Once per week she has a guest writer who boasts on something God has done in their lives.  I tell you all this to say ~ today I am the guest writer.  So if you want to hear on how "in God, I boast", you can go on over to Future Flying Saucers (http://futureflyingsaucers.wordpress.com/2013/10/21/in-god-i-boast-identity-in-christ/).

I have been given much.  And because I have been given much I boast in the Lord.

Where are the Men in all of this?

I have chosen to stay quiet up to this point about the Miley Cyrus debacle.  Mostly because I don't watch VMAs, or any reward shows actually, and I didn't Google the performance the next day.  I didn't want to see it.  I didn't want to watch the depravity.  Just reading the hundreds of posts about it in the days following it  were enough.  I got the picture.

I am not going to comment about where Billy Ray went wrong or didn't go wrong, or how he tried to raise a child star.  I don't know them, I don't know his parenting style.  Why did I decide to write now?  Because I read a blog post discussing the saddest part of the equation to me.  The man's side.

 

Please read this:  http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/08/28/dear-son-dont-let-robin-thicke-be-a-lesson-to-you/.

 

I wholeheartedly agree with Matt Walsh, when he says, "Where are the men in all of this?"

 

Why is everyone crying out against Miley (aka Smiley, aka Destiny Hope) and not mentioning Robin Thicke (who until the VMA atrocity I had never heard of)?  Why are we shocked and judging the 20 year old girl who barely knows how to conduct herself as an adult and just chalking the behavior of a 30-something man to just being a guy?  And WHY is it acceptable for him to act like that?

 

People far more intelligent than I have researched this and written about this and have given opinions about this. 

 

This is what I know.  We live in a broken world.  A world with broken dreams, broken families, broken promises, and broken lives.  People survive the way they know how.  If they cannot find fulfillment in the relationships they have or within themselves, they search for what can give them the feeling of completeness.  For some, food fills the void, for some it might be drugs or alcohol.  For many it is power and for many it is sex.  And for still many it is both power and sex.  {Let me just say, you will not find fulfillment or completeness without God.}

 

We try to teach our girls to be "good" girls, but allow them to wear shorts that are too short, skirts that leave nothing to the imagination, or shirts that are too tight.  We bombard them with half naked, way too thin women posing in erotic poses and they begin to believe they must look and act like that for boys to like them.  Our first problem is making them believe that they have to have a boyfriend.  We need to raise our girls to believe they have to have God.  We need to stop the sexual objectification of our girls, including the celebrity girls {and women}. 

 

How do we do this?  I don't have the answer.  I do believe it starts with persistent prayer to God to change our hearts and our minds; to teach our boys when they are little to not treat girls as objects; to not allow them to view anything that is of sexual nature; to not allow them to be immodest themselves; to teach them Godly values and to see others as God sees them.  Until we raise up Godly men of Godly character, our girls will be in constant danger of believing they have to live up to societal expectations and constant exploitation. 

 

Don't get me wrong, I am NOT saying men are completely to blame.  I am not being sexist here.  I am simply saying that we need to teach our boys to be respectful, loyal, faithful, loving, honest, strong, and full of integrity.  We need to teach our girls to be the same.  We need to build their foundations on the Rock, so that no matter what comes their way, they can withstand it.  

 

When we stop giving our kiddos the permission to act out and behave certain ways, when we stop saying "he is just being a guy" or "she is just expressing herself", when we start telling them no, then we can prevent scenes such as the VMAs.  Little girls like Destiny wouldn't have to grow up to display such obnoxious behavior to get attention and feel some self-worth.  It isn't about wanting to be raunchy.  It is about wanting to feel like you matter. 

 

While I am not a fan of Miley Cyrus, before today or now, my heart breaks for her.  That she so desired attention that she felt the best way to get it was to sexually exploit herself.  That she lives in a world that objectifies, exploits, and judges girls based on sexuality.  That while she isn't innocent in this, she is being treated like a monster, yet an adult married man with children can "enjoy" what she did and our society sees nothing wrong in what he did.  Her behavior was pornographic without a doubt.  If we as a society didn't crave it, didn't desire it, didn't ask for it, there wouldn't be a demand for it.

 

So before you judge Destiny for her behavior - please consider this.  Until we fix the problem - until we teach our boys to respect women and we teach our girls to respect themselves - until we stop exploiting women for sexual purposes...this will continue.  We can't really wait for our littles to grow up though, we need our men of character and integrity to rise up now and protect our women and our children.  We need grown men to act like grown men.  We need married men to remember their vows and love only their wives.  We need fathers to be role models for their kiddos.  We need men!

Where are the men in all of this?
 

 

 

 

 

 

Deja Vu

Six years ago in September, my eldest took her drivers test.  I don't think it is a secret anymore that she failed it.  I am honestly not sure who was more crushed, the 16 year old who had such high hopes of driving The Truck on her own, or the mama who was ready to not drive her around everywhere.  A few days later, she took it again and she passed!  We were so excited!  So I let her drive The Truck - it was her birthday present - it was still technically my truck, but I had it cleaned out and gave it to her to drive. 

While I thought she scared the living daylights out of me, I just thought I was the parent of a new driver.  Then just shy of three months later, came the call.  From Kelly.  "First of all we are okay.  But we had a crash." 

To say that I went into panic mode is the understatement of that year.  I went to the crash site and checked those girls from their heads to their toes.  I inspected The Truck.  Hayley was crying because she thought I was going to kill her off myself and because The Truck was upside down in the ditch.

Leepers pulled The Truck out of the ditch.  She didn't get a ticket, because she wasn't speeding, she wasn't being careless, she just hit a patch of ice on a dirt road (verified by someone we know who was following her).

It was a mess.  I thought I might throw up.  The bars on top were ripped off (you can see a little of them on the right side of this pic that say Crew Cab.  The windshield was mashed in, the oil dumped all over the engine and the underpart of the hood, the front was bashed in.

Kelly and Hayley's footprints as the walked on the roof and crawled out the back windows.

 

We only had liability on the truck, so we paid to have The Truck fixed so it would run again, but wouldn't pay to have it look nice again.  If she wanted that, she had to come up with the money.  She didn't want to fix it up again, she liked, even appreciated the battle scars.  So she drove The Truck until she went to college.  Turns out, now in hindsight, I had every right to be worried about her.  She is not a fabulous driver.

 

Fast forward 5 years and 7 months.  Jake is 17.  He has had his permit for two years and 4 months.  I wanted so much for this kiddo to get his license.  It would give him freedom and it would give ME freedom.  He took his test in July but had the same result Hayley did 6 years before.  Fail.  He listened to the examiner and FINALLY to me and worked on some skills.  Then

on 8/2/2013 (you can see the post on 8/2 called FINALLY!!!), he took it again.  We prayed before he went in that God would give him the knowledge that he (Jake) has, that he wouldn't freeze up but that the knowledge he legitimately earned would be available to him.  We prayed that of course we wanted him to pass, but that God's will was ultimate, so if he still wasn't ready to pass this test that God will guard his heart and help him understand.

Then came the call, "I passed."  I'm not going to lie...I thought he was joking.  So I went back to city hall and listened to the examiner as he told Jake that while he had passed, he still had some things to work on.  Seriously.  Like everything.  That is when I thought I was being punked.  I looked around.  Nope.  He passed but barely.

But he passed.  We celebrated with Chinese food and shopping in JC.  We got his license.  FINALLY!!  School started on 8/15 and he drove away.  Last first day of school!

 

Tuesday started out like any day around here.  I got A up and was getting her ready, Jake left for school, and Michael was getting ready to leave for work.  Then I got the call.  "Mom, I crashed."

 

I would love to say that I calmly and lovingly spoke to my son who was shaken from his experience.  I would love to say that I encouraged him and promised him I would be right there to help fix his world.  I would love to say that I pointed my son to Christ that morning.

 

But I failed.

 

I spewed words of stress and unhappiness and unholiness.  I pointed my son away from Christ.  I showed him under pressure and under stress that His mama can come unglued.  I seriously need to read the book "Unglued" by Lysa TerKeurst.  I bought it.  It is just sitting on my shelf.

 

Not going to lie.  When I saw the truck I lost it.  I put my head down and I cried.  I checked to be sure Jake and the other driver were okay, then I sobbed.  The stress of not having income from two jobs I recently had but have no more, Michael's car needing fixed at a costly price, the looming deductible to fix the other driver's car, and looking at The Truck was just too much.  I honestly felt like I was being crushed.

 

 

Leepers towed her from the accident scene and drove her to a friend's shop.  Mr. Leeper was also having a sense of deja vu, as I was handing over the check for towing he said, "Didn't I pull this truck up out of a ditch from its top a few years back?"  Yes.  Yes, that was The Truck.

When I look at The Truck, I think that it looks messed up in the front, but it doesn't look as bad as when Hayley wrecked it.  Looks are deceiving.  The damage is enough on it that we won't be getting her fixed.  That breaks my heart.  The Truck has been a part of my family for 14 years.  Yeah, she hasn't been pretty for a while, but she was safe for me.  She protected Jack when he totaled her 10+ years ago (although he did lose some vision).  She protected Hayley when she totaled her almost 6 years ago.  I thought she would protect Jake.  She was a tank.  She was a fortress.  I knew when my babies drove off, she would keep them safe.  And she did.  Now that piece of safety is gone, as she sits out at the shop.  I know it sounds silly to mourn a 14 year old piece of junk, but she was my piece of mind.  Plus, she never got stuck.  I don't care what field she was driven in, what snow fell on the ground, or what mud she found, she never got stuck.

I am thankful to her that my kiddos are safe. 

So now it is time to move on.  I have been taking care of Jake.  Helping him understand it isn't the end of the world.  Trying to help him with his physical pain and his emotional pain.  I keep telling him it will all work out.  Because it will.  I know it like I know my name. 

I have questioned God a little.  Not about where He was - it is obvious He was at the crash site.  Both people walked away uninjured.  Sore, but uninjured.  Not about the fairness of it all - we have been so blessed - Jake is alive, we had four vehicles when many don't have one, we have food to eat and clothes to wear and a house to live in and we were born in the USA where the gospel is accessible.  My question however is this - 2.5 weeks ago, I prayed that if Jake wasn't ready that God not allow him to pass the test.  Yet God allowed it.  At first my question was why?   Why did he pass if he really wasn't ready?  But as I have thought and prayed and pondered, and especially in my quiet time this morning and as I sit here and write this, my question is no longer why, but God what is it that I/we am/are to learn from this?  He doesn't do anything by accident, pun intended.  He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  We love God in this house.  He will work this out for the good.  So what is the lesson?  What is the outcome?

Will we learn to treasure each other more?  Will I learn to point people to God during stress, rather than become unglued?  Because I certainly was measured and was found wanting on Tuesday.  Is this test so that we will become fully dependent on God and not a 14 year old piece of junk?  That during this time of trial we fully commit and rely on Him?

So as I ask these questions, I wait patiently for God to reveal to me the purpose for His will.  I might be waiting a day, a week, or until I step from this earth into eternity.  But God does not fail His test the first time, or the second time, or even the third time.  He doesn't come unglued when He sees the damage we, His children, cause. 

While I am living in this deja vu week, I am going to thank and praise God - the author of my soul, the creator of my being, the almighty passionate Redeemer who loves me despite my shortcomings, who loves my children even more than I do, and who will work it all out for our good.  He promised it.  He always delivers.  I am excited for the good. 

Thank GOD for DMV ladies and tball shirts

I totally just want to go back to bed.  For a month.  I don't want to get up, I don't want to face the day.  I don't want to think, I don't want to work.  I don't want to cook or clean or eat.  I just have the blahs. 

Yesterday I didn't want to get out of my chair, just wanted to sit and do nothing. 

Then the lady at the DMV, that made my anger flash insanely and without good reason, told the bigs that they couldn't have their drivers' license or permit unless I came in to sign a paper.  How dare she disturb my melancholy blah-ful vegetative state.  I promptly got the littles ready and we drove the T.W.O. miles to the DMV.  I was still pouty and ridiculous, then someone said something funny.  So I chilled.  Then something else funny happened or was said.  Then I smiled.  In a matter of minutes I was even laughing.

Well, now that I was out and the sun was shining and the kids had been good and they are just so darn cute, I decided to run to Tipton to run an errand for the Queen Mother.  And since we were in Tipton, we might as well stop for frozen custard, right?  And gee...the park is right there.  An hour later, we were on our way back to Cali. 

Then it dawned on me I didn't know where As tball shirt was.  We tore that house UP looking for it.  All of us.  Except Jake who was hoping we didn't find it.  And B who is in his own little world.  After 2+ hours of searching, a few tears {mine}, and a lot of mom-bashing {again, me} I found it.   In a strange place that I know only God knew and helped me find.  Thanks for the prayers QM.  I know God wasn't concerned with the tball shirt, but he was concerned with my fragile state of mind.  The tball pics and game were a success.  She was completely clothed, made it in time, and completely participated.  You just can't beat tball night on beautiful summer nights.

Blahs are no fun.  But I think they are necessary, as long as we don't stay there.  So this morning, as I hold the blahs at bay for a while, I am going to clean house, listen to my jamz on my YouTube playlist, and thank God for DMV ladies and tball shirts.

Here is one of my jamz (yeah, not much jamming going on, but it soothes my soul and really that is what I need right now)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUEy8nZvpdM&list=PLgsKa8DSxwZGd22QeP9Ng7fWDqnMi7PxQ

For the first time ever

For the first time ever I had someone slam Christians to my ear (conference call) while "at work".  I have other friends who have slammed them on Facebook or elsewhere, but never during work was I subject to it, and never in a conversation to which I was party.

I'd like to say that I did the right thing, that I stood up for Christians and Christianity, or that I calmly acted like I should.  To be honest, I don't know what the right thing was.  I can tell you in that moment, I felt as if I had been sucker punched.  I felt angry, enough that my head started pounding and so did my heart.  They weren't criticizing me, but just slammed them in general.  This person, who I really like and get on with just fine, knows I am a Christian and we have discussed briefly my beliefs. 

No, I didn't yell; I didn't have a witty comeback.  I didn't slam down the phone.  I took a deep breath, and in the instant I should have prayed, I didn't.  I just calmly asked if we were done with the purpose for which I called in on the conference call.  I said, "Are we done talking about the system?  If so, and we are going to talk about politics, I am going to go ahead and go and take care of the boys."  A hurried apology and back to the subject for four more minutes was the reply I received, then we all hung up.

So yet again, I'm not sure what my reaction should have been.  Has Christ measured me and found me wanting in my behavior?  I just don't know.   I felt as if it would have gotten me nowhere to defend Christians, because in this instance, I'm not sure the behavior and attitudes that were being criticized were Christian-like.  I did not know these people, I don't know how they act(ed).  If I had defended them but they were in the wrong, would that hurt God's kingdom more than my silence? 

I guess I will never know the answer to that.  I can only pray for wisdom as these instances will be coming more and more as time passes.  I know this is something so small in the scheme of things, but it was my first test.  There will be many more. 

I want so much to be that person or part of a group of people that cause unbelievers to WANT to be a Christ follower, rather than one who causes them to make disparaging remarks.  My heart is broken for those who do not know Christ and have such contempt for Christianity that their eyes, ears, hearts, and minds are closed to the beauty of Christ.  Pray that I will stay steadfast in His will and will have the courage and discernment to do and say what glorifies Him.

1 Peter 5
⁸ Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹ Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  ¹⁰ And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

James 1
² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

¹² Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

Spiritual Warfare

It is real.  It isn't some made up Hollywood trick to make a movie scarier.  It isn't something someone made up to make a story seem wilder.  Spiritual warfare can take on many forms.  I don't even know how many.  It can be dark spirits, rustling around in the trees near an African orphanage.  It can be that voice in your head that tells you to hurt yourself.  It can be that thought you have that you are not good enough, that you don't measure up, that you might as well give up.  It can be that unclean thought about your neighbor, a friend, a stranger.  It can be a voice telling you that you cannot win.

Ephesians 6:12 -  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

But I tell you right now, that regardless of the hold spiritual warfare has on your life, on my life, that God can defeat it. 

I have been suffering from attacks from Satan on my mind since August.   I have briefly written about it in the past.  I am not proud of them; I don't really want to talk about them.  But I feel like writing this out helps vanquish them.  For a while, Satan was getting the best of me.  I let him tell me that I didn't measure up.  I wasn't good enough to do Women's Ministry (and I am not, but through Christ I can do all things).  I chose the wrong path to stay home with my kids.  That I was a bad mother, a bad wife, a bad daughter, a bad friend.  In fact I have no friends.  I have no one on my side.  I'm surrounded by people in this house, but I am all alone.  I'm surrounded by people in this town, but I am all alone.  My kids aren't safe.  I'm ruining them.  They could be hurt or worse.  My life is a lie.

Can you see the funk I was in?  Can you see where I allowed Satan to deceive me with lies, and I accepted it as truth?  It didn't start out this way.  How did it get so far?  Because I accepted one lie as truth.  When Satan saw he could deceive me like this, and I wouldn't fight back, he fed me another.  And another.  And another.  Until all I was having for breakfast was lies.  He attacked me in my most vulnerable places ~ my self-worth and my children.

1 Peter 5:8 - Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

John 8:44 - ...He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

I have been trying to battle my way out and it is getting better.  Because I do know these are all lies that Satan ~ the father of lies ~ tells me.  I KNOW THAT.  But I was doing nothing to take control of my mind back. 

I woke up at 3:30 this morning and could not go back to sleep.  So after watching one and a half episodes of Monk and still not sleeping, I decided to get up and do my Bible Study.  I am currently working on The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian.  I started working on this because I know my prayer life is not what it should be.  I want so much to be a prayer warrior, someone who can just easily slip in and out of conversation with God, so much so that it is one day long conversation like I would with a friend or family member that was hanging out all day. 

Guess what today's topic was??  "Lord, She Me How to Take Control of My Mind".  Not kidding.  She talks about a weekend she had all to herself that she was planning to have some quiet time and get writing done.  Sounds like a heavenly weekend to me!  But Satan ruined her weekend by attacking her mind in such a way that she was literally paralyzed to do anything about it.

Have you been there?  I have.  Recently. 

She fasted, waiting for God to speak to her, and very early on Sunday morning such a great anxiety laid on her that she began to pray and read her Bible.  In Isaiah 61:3, she read "...the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness..."  NIV reads Isaiah 61:1-3 as:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
    and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.

At that moment she began praising God and spoke His word out loud.  She rebuked the enemy and thanked God.  She said, "Then, as clearly as I have ever felt anything, I sensed the dark, heavy blanket of spiritual oppression lift."

So it is possible to defeat the war being waged in our minds.  It is possible to overcome Satan's lies with God's truth.  God has given us His word ~ His promise ~ that He will defeat Satan in our lives for us if we let Him.  He gives us power and authority to overcome the enemy.

Luke 10:19 -  I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.

1 Corinthians 10:3-5 - For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Romans 12:2 - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Hebrews 4:12 -  For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

2 Timothy 1:7 -  For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Isaiah 26:3 - You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

Ephesians 4:22-24 - You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. 

There are so many other scriptures that speak of how God gives us what we need to defeat Satan.  We cannot do it alone; only through God and His word can we be set free.  If you are hearing or believing Satan's lies ~ claim God's promises for you.  Renew your mind.  Take captive every thought, every lie.  Put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-18).  And pray.  Pray that God will vanquish the lies from your life.  Pray that God will vanquish the lies from someone else's life.

And if you will, pray for Megan.  Pray for Hayley.  Pray for me.  We are beautiful in God's sight.  We will win, because Christ has already won. 

Father - I ask that you help Megan, Hayley, and so many others, including me, see Satan's lies for what they are.  Help us not to conform to the pattern of this world but help us be transformed by the renewing of our minds.  We have been taught to put off our old selves and that we are new in Christ.  Help us see others and ourselves as you see us.  You know our thoughts Lord.  I ask that you break the pattern of worthless thinking and you set us free from the evil one's lies.  Help us fight with the divine power you have given us to demolish the devil's strongholds in our minds.  Help us take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.  Your word is alive and active and is sharper than any double-edged sword.  Keep our minds focused on You and Your Word.  Place a hedge of protection around Megan, please guard her heart and mind from the enemy.  Place a hedge of protection around Hayley.  She is about to do great things in Your kingdom's work and the enemy is trying to attack her and tell her she cannot win. But she has already won, because You have already won.  Lord, guard my heart and my mind so that I rebuke Satan's lies in my life.  And God there are others who are listening to Satan's lies and don't even know it.  Lord, give them the discernment to know they are his lies and help them defeat the stronghold in their lives.  In Your holy power and name I give you praise this morning.  Amen.