It is done!

Wow.  That title made it sound like a chore.  Like I am excited to be done with it.  Like it is a horrific thing I am finishing and moving on.  It wasn't anything like that.  It was so far from that I can't even explain it.  What we did wasn't extraordinary.  It wasn't remarkable or amazing.  But in 2014 we did something in our family that I honestly did not believe we could do.

We read the Bible all the way through as a family.  

Was the first paragraph some un-fancy build-up then you thought "THAT is what she is excited about?"  We didn't go deep sea diving.  We didn't climb the tallest mountain (or with my knee, even the smallest of hills).  We didn't go zip lining through a rain forest. We didn't go on a mission trip to help save orphans or feed families. But...

we read the Bible all the way through as a family.

I am not tooting our own horns.  I'm really not.  Other families have done far more amazing things for humanity and the planet.  This really shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it is to me.  

This is what I learned.

1) We can do it!  I had no doubt that the hubs or I could do it.  We have both read through the Bible before a couple of times.  We just never have together.

2) If we put our minds to it and it is important enough to us, we can do something long-term.  Sometimes we have these brilliant ideas and they last two weeks. Sometimes we say we will do it but it never gets farther than the discussion.  Like organization.  Or Bible study together.  Or cleaning and organization.  

3) It is important.  Not only did it carve a few minutes of time every night to family only time, we were focusing on God's word during that time.  It wasn't a selfish time, or a time to just spend together because we have to.  It was time well spent.  A quiet time with family and God.

4) My kids heard the Word.  Sure, they hear it often throughout the week, at Sunday School and church or in books we read at home.  They also heard it every single night. This ensured it.  (Disclaimer: it wasn't every single night for 365 nights, but it was probably at LEAST 350+ of those nights.  If we missed a night we made it up next day, except the week of Hayley's wedding - we might have missed 3-4 nights then, but we made it up.)

5) My kids not only heard the Word, they WANTED to hear the Word.  I thought we would have to practically pull teeth to get them to sit through it every night.  NO.  Not even the 18/19 year old complained.  He may not have always wanted to sit there, but not one complaint came from his mouth.  Even the littles waited for that time.  They looked forward to that time to sit down and cuddle with mama and dad and big bro before going to bed.  If I ever said "time for bed" and we hadn't read yet, they were quick to say "after the Bible, right?".  

6) Reading this Book all the way through from start to finish gave us a broader picture.  In Sunday School, you hear the "important" stories.  Adam and Eve; Moses; Samson; Kings Saul, David, & Solomon; Jesus; Paul.  They are all important stories, don't get me wrong.  But they don't give you the big picture.  They don't help you see that since the fall of man, we have a God who is lovingly and painstakingly trying to woo us back to Him.  You don't see that throughout history, He has been building up, story by story and brick by brick, to our redemption and restoration.  Reading it page by page, story by story, my kids have a better understanding of what the Word is, who God is, and who they are in His story.  

7) Hearing the Word of God out of your children's mouths is amazing.  A was a good reader.  She has been since the moment the reading light bulb came on.  However, reading from the Bible, I honestly believe, has helped her become an even better reader. What is more precious than hearing your 7/8 year old read Scripture?  Or how about that 5 year old who can't read yet, or is barely reading now, but wants so badly to "read it" that you take the extra time to read a half sentence and have him say it back? P.R.E.C.I.O.U.S.

Sure, there was a LOT they didn't understand.  Shoot, there is a LOT I don't understand. But they have heard it.  They craved it.  They have hidden it in their hearts.  I pray that this first reading was the first tiny seed of many seeds in years to come that fall on good soil and produce a great crop (Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop - some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown." Mark 4:20).  I pray that it was a foundation for their daily reading of the Word in many days and years to come.

Sure, reading the Bible all the way through in a year isn't something that people are amazed by and that some would even call foolish.  However, it honestly was the best thing we have ever done.  I didn't write this post so people would think "YAY Traver fam!" I didn't writ it so people can be amazed at our feat (and for us it was a feat!!).  I wrote it so you can know that with small children it IS possible if you really want to do it AND So I can remember in years to come why I felt so blessed at the end of this year.

A truth quote has been floating around Facebook.  I believe this wholeheartedly so I am going to end this post with this anonymous thought:

"If we don't teach our children to follow Christ, the world will teach them not to."

For the first time ever

For the first time ever I had someone slam Christians to my ear (conference call) while "at work".  I have other friends who have slammed them on Facebook or elsewhere, but never during work was I subject to it, and never in a conversation to which I was party.

I'd like to say that I did the right thing, that I stood up for Christians and Christianity, or that I calmly acted like I should.  To be honest, I don't know what the right thing was.  I can tell you in that moment, I felt as if I had been sucker punched.  I felt angry, enough that my head started pounding and so did my heart.  They weren't criticizing me, but just slammed them in general.  This person, who I really like and get on with just fine, knows I am a Christian and we have discussed briefly my beliefs. 

No, I didn't yell; I didn't have a witty comeback.  I didn't slam down the phone.  I took a deep breath, and in the instant I should have prayed, I didn't.  I just calmly asked if we were done with the purpose for which I called in on the conference call.  I said, "Are we done talking about the system?  If so, and we are going to talk about politics, I am going to go ahead and go and take care of the boys."  A hurried apology and back to the subject for four more minutes was the reply I received, then we all hung up.

So yet again, I'm not sure what my reaction should have been.  Has Christ measured me and found me wanting in my behavior?  I just don't know.   I felt as if it would have gotten me nowhere to defend Christians, because in this instance, I'm not sure the behavior and attitudes that were being criticized were Christian-like.  I did not know these people, I don't know how they act(ed).  If I had defended them but they were in the wrong, would that hurt God's kingdom more than my silence? 

I guess I will never know the answer to that.  I can only pray for wisdom as these instances will be coming more and more as time passes.  I know this is something so small in the scheme of things, but it was my first test.  There will be many more. 

I want so much to be that person or part of a group of people that cause unbelievers to WANT to be a Christ follower, rather than one who causes them to make disparaging remarks.  My heart is broken for those who do not know Christ and have such contempt for Christianity that their eyes, ears, hearts, and minds are closed to the beauty of Christ.  Pray that I will stay steadfast in His will and will have the courage and discernment to do and say what glorifies Him.

1 Peter 5
⁸ Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹ Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  ¹⁰ And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

James 1
² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

¹² Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

Tick...tick...tick

Holy cow.  Where is the time going?  I know I wrote about that last time, but seriously!  There are just 8 days until I leave for London.  So many things to do!  Swimming, painting, playing outside, crafting, hugging on babies (mine and a friend's), going to the park, watching tv, reading books...how am I going to fit it all in?


Well, just going to take it one day at a time.  Last Friday Amberlie and I made countdown chains  - one for her and one for Breckin.  When I leave next Tuesday, they can start breaking off a chain every day and they will know how long until I get home.  Yesterday we made a countdown to kindergarten calendar.  Just 31 days!

She is pretty excited.  I'm not.  Not because my baby girl is getting so big and going to kindergarten.  I went through that in May during summer school.  It is because I will no longer be able to just have her home during the day because I want her there.  I can no longer make fun plans with the kiddos whenever I want.  I will have to plan everything around that six letter word.  I don't want to.  I want her to be home with me in the afternoons when Breckin will be home, so we can go to the Capitol, or go swimming, or go on a park tour. 

Today we are working on her workbook to keep the things she learned in Montessori sharp.  We will be reading books later and running errands.  I am all too aware that in a week, my "summer" is over.  Sure, she won't be going to school when I get back, but it will be so close.  I plan to sleep all day on August 4 and 5.  When I wake up on 8/6, we will be celebrating my dad and my husband's birthday.  Three days later I will be moving my oldest back to Bolivar to start her JUNIOR year.  SAY WHAT?  Then just six short days later - days filled with school shopping, going to bed earlier, and football practices - Jake will be going back for his junior year in high school and the little princess will be going to kindergarten.  YIKES.

So while London is coming up and yes, I am looking forward to it, I am not going to lie...I am not EXCITED for it.  There are so many things to do!  And everything I have mentioned doesn't even include packing, buying items that I need, and preparing my heart and my mind to be used for the King's glory. 

AND THAT is when I realize I have my priorities all wrong.  THAT is when I realize I have allowed my kids to become my "functional gods".  Those things (or people) that I place before my relationship with Christ.  Those things (or people) that I attempt to find satisfaction in and with, rather than seeking only what God can satisfy. 

Exodus 20:3 You shall have no other gods before me.

Isaiah 55:2 Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.

It is time I get past those worldly things that I cannot control but control me (time, people, busy-ness).  It is time that I re-focus and ensure that God is the God of my life; that He is the author of my faith; that He is in control.  If I can't fit swimming in one more time this summer, is it really that catastrophic?  No.  I have next summer (God-willing).  If I am not prepared to share the Truth and further the Kingdom of God, is it really that catastrophic?  Yes, for that person I failed to talk to or for me, it just might be. 

So while I have only a few days left before I leave for London, I intend to spend time making memories with my little ones.  But I will ensure that while I am molding their lives I am also preparing them and me for Kingdom work.  When I get up in the morning, I don't want to ask - what fun thing can we do today? but I want to ask - how can I reflect God's glory to someone today?

Neglectful

When I start to get too big for my britches, God finds little ways to humble me in big ways.  I mean, I can't be too bad, right?  I managed to raise 2 good kids - no drugs, alcohol, teen sex, little backtalk, and both claim Christ as their savior.  I am working on two more now that say their prayers at every meal and at night, read Bible stories at night, go to church on Sundays, Wednesdays, and sometimes another day or two during the week.  I rarely curse, I don't drink, I give money to the poor and homeless (albeit not as much as I should), I sponsor a child.  BUT anyone can do the above.  And just when I start being impressed with myself, God sends me a message.

Almost two months ago, it was through a middle aged homeless woman in the Wal-Mart parking lot.  She needed diapers and food.  I did some shopping and delivered the goods, but I felt CONVICTED.  A couple of weeks ago, I was given an assignment and like Jonah, I tried to run, but God brought me back to my Nineveh and said, "GO."  Last night in class, I was reminded yet again of my responsibility to participate in the spread of the gospel.  I looked at my life and realized that while what I was doing was worthwhile, it isn't all I am supposed to be doing.  I have been NEGLECTFUL.  Neglectful of my relationship with Christ.  I am not in His word as often as I ought to be and my prayers sometimes are disjointed, rambling, and jumbled.  I have been neglectful with my obedience to God.  I have robbed Him of my time, money, and heart.  I have been neglectful of my role in sharing the gospel. It is not my responsibility to save those around me, but God can use me as a tool while he saves those around me. I have not been an effective tool in His quest.  Matthew 28:19-20 does not say, "Therefore if you feel like it, go and make disciples of all nations...".  Sharing God's word is not optional for anyone.  Acts 1:8 says, "...you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  There is no option here either.  We are to share God's love.  And I have been neglectful.

Today I added to my list, reluctant.  We were given another assignment last night in class, one I felt confident I could handle.  Then today, my chance arose to do the right thing.  I wasn't going to be reluctant like Philip or Peter or Saul.  But I was.  My chance came and rather than jumping on it and doing a random act of kindness to a complete stranger I blew it.  I organized it and thought it out and by the time I was ready...they were gone.  I feel like not just reluctant or neglectful, but ashamed.  I am convicted.

Even though I feel like I couldn't be any lower and I wonder why God has put me on the Youth Ministry Team, Women's Ministry Team, has made me a mother of four and wife, and has blessed me with the opportunity in the vine.  I keep thinking I am so totally unequipped for these roles and I am not worthy.  AND I AM RIGHT.  Only through God's grace am I able to call myself saved.  Only through God's grace am I not nailed to a cross to die for my sins.  Only through God's grace am I allowed to participate in His kingdom work.  God uses those of us who are broken so when the most amazing work is done, everyone knows it is not because of me but because of HIM.  I am so thankful for days like today, even though my pride is wounded and my heart is heavy.  It reminds me that I am who I am and HE IS WHO HE IS and THANK GOD HE IS!  If I was able to do this on my own, I wouldn't need Him.  And without Him I am nothing.  While these lessons can hurt and break my heart, I thank Him for the lesson.  It makes me fall face down in front of my King and thank Him for His grace, His mercy, His love, and His awe-inspired salvation.

So, yes, I am neglectful of what the King deserves.  But I am going to try to do better.  Yes, I am going to fail from time to time when I lean on my own resources.  But He has my back and He will catch me when I fall. 

I LOVE MY MERCIFUL, SAVING, ALL-KNOWING, ALL-FORGIVING, GRACE-FILLED, GOD AND SAVIOR.  Because He is always faithful to me, even when I am not.

The cross

This last Saturday really made me think.  I don't really like to think on a Saturday, it is my brain's time to relax.  However, my brain was in high gear in the afternoon.  Michael, Jake, and I had the opportunity to help carry the cross that was making its way from Kansas City to St Louis.  We met some amazing people that day: Randy Messer, who is a pastor from the KC area, and Joe.  I am not sure of Joe's last name, but I believe he is also from KC.  Both of these men have a servant's heart and real desire to help people learn of the cross.  

It was Jake's idea to sign up to help carry the cross.  I totally went with his idea for a couple of reasons.  1 - it was Jake's idea and it was a great idea.  2 - I thought it would be "cool"  or "neat" to be a part of this.  What I didn't know was that it was going to touch my heart quite like it did. 

I walked with the cross first.  As Joe put that cross on my left shoulder, I thought this is going to be easy.  Not too heavy and it has a wheel to help pull it along.  I started on my walk, concentrating on the wind and hoping it wouldn't knock the cross from my hands.  It didn't take very long for my mind to start thinking of Jesus and put the wind from my mind.  Could have been the weight of the cross, could have just been a natural thought as I was carrying a cross.  Or it could have been because Joe was walking behind me praising God. 

The further I walked, the heavier that cross became.  I picked a spot ahead of me, which turned out to be exactly a mile from where I started carrying the cross.  I kept my eyes on that orange sign I had chosen to be my ending spot.  It seemed like that orange sign kept moving back and that I wasn't going to reach it.  It became a struggle to keep holding that cross in the wind and putting one foot in front of the other.

Then it hit me.  I was carrying the cross for one mile.  I struggled to keep it up ONE MILE.  The whole time, my relief was in sight.  I knew when I got to that orange sign, I was going to hand the cross off to Jake, who would then shoulder the burden for that time.  At any point along the way, if the cross became too heavy, all I had to do was ask Joe or Jake to take the burden from me. 

So many years ago, Jesus carried his cross.  His relief wasn't in sight.  He didn't have an orange sign to look toward knowing his relief would come.  The closer he got to his destination, the closer he came to more painful torture and death.  Sure, he could have just asked his Father to take the burden from him, but he chose to keep the burden.  Simon from Cyrene had to carry the cross for Jesus because he had been beaten so much he could no longer carry it.  However, the burden of the weight of the cross was nothing compared to the burden of the sins of the world, pushing him down and crushing him.  Even though he knew this was his destiny and his fate, Jesus chose this.  John 17 contains Jesus' prayer.  He prayed for himself; he prayed for his disciples.  He also prayed for all believers.  Those in his current day and those who were to come.  We were on his mind that day. 

The whole time he was carrying his cross, his relief wasn't in sight, but my salvation was.  Thank God and thank you Jesus, that you chose my salvation over your relief.