I think I'm going to be sick...

Have you ever wanted something a lot, like a whole lot, then when you get it you think, "What did I just do?"  Yeah, that is where I am right now.  In a constant state of "I think I'm going to be sick."

For months and months and what seems like more months, I have been wanting to go to Thailand.  Hayley first mentioned it at least two months before she left, so maybe April.  She asked me to join her so I could see what she sees and experience what she experiences.  She wanted someone who was going to understand.  Honestly, I think she thought it was going to be more like village life in Africa, where life is lived in a village, where only one person speaks your language, and technology is scarce.  That just isn't the case. 

Over the last 18 months though, my desire to have a role in abolishing human trafficking has been burning more intensely.  What started out as a trip to experience what Hayley has experienced has turned into a trip to help me learn more about trafficking and sexual exploitation of women and children.   In a book I read called, "Refuse to do Nothing: Finding Your Power to Abolish Modern-Day Slavery" one of the authors was in the same boat as me.  Outraged and wanting to do something about it but not knowing how to go about it.  Just like me.  She ended up taking a trip overseas to witness the effects of human trafficking.  That is how this evolved.

I have been talking about it and saving for it for months.  I have been disappointed when I thought I wasn't going to get to go.  I have been excited when it looked like I could.  Hayley's time in Thailand is coming to a close rapidly and I was beginning to wonder if the trip would happen. 

But it is.

And now that I know for a fact that it is {Lord willing}, I feel like I'm going to be sick.

The thought of going to Thailand is fantastic. 

Except for the scorpions that are as big as Hayley's hand.  Except for snakes and bugs.  Except that I am one of The. Pickiest. Eaters. Ever.  Except for that pesky problem I have where I HATE TO FLY.  ESPECIALLY OVER WATER.

So now this trip doesn't seem like such a great idea.  It is really a good thing my desire to learn more about trafficking is so strong.  It is a good thing I honestly believe that I am supposed to go.  God will guide me, sustain me, calm me, and protect me. 

This really is a trip of my lifetime.  I won't have another opportunity.  I have made contact with several people who are doing this brave work in Thailand and I will be visiting a rescue home.  And to do this with Hayley alongside is a bonus. 

If you had any part in supporting this trip and this mission of mine, THANK YOU.  I mean it.  From the bottom of my scared little heart.  Thank you for the prayers, the encouraging words said at the right time when I was discouraged, the donations of auction items, the monetary donations, and the auction bids. 

Now I just ask that you continue to pray for this trip.  That you pray that I don't completely freak out when I realize that my flight is going over the ocean.  And also please pray for the family that I am leaving behind.  17 days is a long time when you are four. 

I appreciate you so very much. 

Now, I'm going to go.  I think I'm going to be sick...